Shower
Scene, 2012
So
this week we’re hearing from some cockamamie congressman from Missouri who
believes women who are raped “legitimately” don’t have to worry about becoming
pregnant because, to simplify things, they’re too scared to ovulate?
It
used to be that when I did marketing research on controversial topics—e.g. stem
cell research or xenotransplantation—we’d go to Kansas City to get a feel for
what “middle America” thought about such things. Inevitably someone out there would
remind me that “they don’t call Missouri the ‘Show Me’ state for nothing;” that
they’d have to be shown that something that seems unusual or creepy isn’t
either, but is, rather, just the result of new science.
I also
used to work with a PR guy who grew up in Missouri. Whenever someone would say
something the least bit unusual, Hank would tilt his head to one side in an
expression of disbelief.
Like
those people in Kansas City, Henry didn’t take anything at face value. “Well,
you know,” he’d say. “They don’t call Missouri the ‘Show Me’ state for
nothing.”
I
mean, really. Have you ever heard anyone in the course of normal conversation
explain themselves by saying, “Well, you know they don’t call Virginia the ‘Old
Dominion’ for nothing” or “Well, you know they don’t call Pennsylvania ‘the
Keystone State’ for nothing”?
I’m
puzzled by the cultures of some midwestern states. I’m convinced that Ohioans,
for example, have to be warned about every upcoming bend in the road. Why else
would there be all those signs indicating upcoming curves, or complaints when
they have accidents because they didn’t know there was a curve ahead? (I swear,
I read that in a newspaper story in Cincinnati back in the 1980s.)
Midwesterners
are nothing if not practical. If they weren’t how would you explain these
dispensers in the shower of my St. Louis hotel? If I had to guess their
history, I would speculate that they’re the result of some cost-savings
brainstorming. Some bean counter at the hotel company probably said, “You know,
those little containers of shampoo and conditioner are killing my bottom line.”
The next time the hotel manager went to a hotel convention he probably saw this
little trio of dispensers displayed in the “portion control” section of the
exhibit hall and the rest, as they say, is history.
Note
to Missouri hotel manager: Unless you want us to be reminded of roadside rest stop
bathrooms every time we step into your shower, how about showing me some little
containers of shampoo and a bar or soap or two.
Hahaaaa. God knows what NC says. I shudder to think.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, give me the damn little bottles of stuff. I want my own.